If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away
. . . you just might be a Scrooge.

If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas
. . . you just might be a Scrooge.

If you get your Christmas tree at a rest stop at night
. . . you just might be a Scrooge.

If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts
. . . you just might be a Scrooge.

If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park
. . . you just might be a Scrooge.

If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat
. . . you just might be a Scrooge.

If your favorite pastime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string of Christmas lights
. . . you just might be a Scrooge.

If your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin
. . . you just might be a Scrooge.